My Life as Defined by "The Man"

Wow, never thought I'd get to use that phrase...ever.

So after years of snickering and great mockage of locals who ever thought a ruling body incapable of keeping its own scarred, mangled corpse out of harm's way could/would take the time to smack anyone else down/keep anyone else out, my drive-time epiphany was quite the shocker.

For years I've struggled in vain to find some metaphor for my existence (everyone should have one; I highly recommend them for those days when you just don't know why you want to beat nuns with sacks of penguins while humming the theme song to Dobie Gillis) but aside from the occasional "Life Sucks Monkeys" I've come up short time and time again.

Then on my student-free commute (who'da thunk all those idiots driving like jackasses were the future leaders of our nation?) on a dreary, time-skewed Monday it hit me:

Daylight Savings Time is the metaphor for my life. The perfect illustration of the monotonous cycle of Me.

Always a whiz at the Falling Back.

Completely inept at the Springing Forward.

Well maybe not completely, but it certainly wouldn’t count as a Spring. I can Stumble and I can certainly Flail, but ‘to spring’ is a verb gone AWOL.